PENALTIES FOR VIOLATION OF COPYRIGHT: Our attorneys will do their best to see that life on earth, as you know it, is completely ruined. In addition, you agree that thirty (30) days after you violate the artist's copyright without making appropriate payment, ownership of your eternal soul passes to the author, who has the right to negotiate the sale of said soul to the first smoking, blood-drenched apparition with fangs (SBDAWF)—or any other entity—that meets his price. Such SBDAWF or purchasing entity may collect your soul at any time of his/her/its choosing. SOUL AUCTIONS may take place periodically via EBAY. Since only supernatural forces are aware of exactly who has violated this agreement (you may hide from our attorneys, but you won’t evade the Hounds of Hell), souls will be sold in date-delimited blocks (the sale of souls will not preclude the author and publisher from pursuing all other legal remedies under copyright law).